So I think I might still secretly love him despite the ass licking...
Hey ass licking is a very nice and intimate thing! Don't discredit your feelings
But what if he licks everyones ass?
did you seriously just ask me if there is such thing as a sophisticated batman shirt?
operation have a gay friend backfired
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
she was pretty happy for someone in the middle of a herpes outbreak, how was i supposed to know?
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
I need a present that says please like me even though i'm banging your grandson
I'm convinced he's the patron saint of oral sex
Turns out he's not a Doctor Who fan, I mumbled Alons-y as I went down on him. He asked who Alan was. No more drunk sex for me!
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
