Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
She looks makes a Zellweger face when she cums, she's keeps asking why I call her renee
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
My nipple rings set off the metal detector at the courthouse this morning.
I was talking to some girls while you were falling off your bar stool into the person next to you.
She kept biting his ear when he was talking to people, that was only 3 drinks in...
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
Your whole purpose in life is to just float around and satisfy lonely women and also join lesbian couples in threesomes.
I know more about this girls vagina than I know about her personality
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I'm about to eat a honey mustard chicken salad on the toilet while I try to shit. You really think I care about what "kind of guy he is?" The fuck out of here.
If you don't care, I don't. Good luck finding prince charming.
I do not love him. There is no love. Only sex and meatloaf.
I'm not the kind of girl that sleeps with someone else's boyfriend. But I'm getting waxed just in case I change my mind...
I just talked with someone about real estate trends in Atlanta then got three blowjobs in a row. Boom.
Randomize
