We took shots in honor of Shark Week.
We made a percocet pizza. And then i made an unfortunate decision.
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
A Bum and I jusst hugged. its not even 8 pm.
Aww. I feel like I need to kill a puppy just to make room in the world for how cute you are right now
It is a special kind of bonus when you find money you hid from yourself when you were drunk in the tampon box. What did we do last period?
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
I'm a gymnast. they should know better than to let me get dunk near anything i can flip on
Next time we include dessert condiments into our sex life we can fuck up my sheets. It's only fair.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I know. I know. He'll be weekday dick.
Our sex from this weekend should be engraved into a plaque or commemorated somehow. It was fucking amazing.
shots, cocks, socks. bingo
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