It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
okay I'm thinking he doens't have a facebook...I'm on page 28 of Hunters
ok you need to stop NOW
I need to surround myself with more reliable stoners...
I can do anything tonight that doesnt involve an erection.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
We are possibly on our way, unless we see the limo full of strippers.
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
All three women i have fucked in the past week are here in the same bar. Gameface, go.
Gonna go for any of them?
Thursday night girl, but friday is watching and tuesday is serving us.
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Look, opening a Guinness with a steak knife and nearly cutting your finger off to make another carbomb is always a good idea.
The cop was yelling at you as you layed on the sidewalk and you wouldn't take him seriously cause you thought it was some dude in a cop costume.
Oh boom. You're officially Dr Phil. I need to have sex that I actually remember participating in.
I stood on the corner waiting to be picked up, dry heaving, and trying to block out the sun.
I will never use my dick in anger. With great dick comes great responsibility
Is it okay that we fucked on my car hood, in his driveway, at 4 am with cars passing by ?
Randomize
