She was sucking his dick at Seacrets outside bar in front of all of us...her friends kept coming over crying and yelling "Tiffany stop it"
operation "beaches make me wet" is a go
and i looked up. we had an audience...
my mom just told me its unladylike to have toothpaste stains on my clothes all the time.. if she only knew.
You missed a lot. I drank contact solution thinking it was water, vodka thinking it was water and some unidentified substance that reminded me of pine sol thinking it was water..
You told me that you only walk into walls because it makes the room stop spinning.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
I've also decided that the true test of whether or not you should marry a girl is if she will willingly blow you while you eat Oreos.
I feel that shower jager is exactly what this man needs after last night.
You're a disgrace to gay men everywhere.
What's up with the fire hydrant in the laundry room?
I would love a rich wife. Then I would be like a gym teacher or some shit. Bigfoot hunter maybe.
my favorite sex position is the one where no sex actually happens we just get really stoned and eat a lot and watch netflix in the dark
You'd be proud...I've an early morning wake up booty call...he should be here around 6am ish...I told him to wake me nicely.
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