God, you're like boner-b-gone
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
It was literally me in an evening gown and him in a tux with six bottles of Vodka at Jons.
And this was for your brother's Christening?
All she does is lay in bed and watch golden girls and masturbate all day...
It's inspiring.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
You try staying up all night fucking a guy with a curved dick and see how much you want to go out after that.
3 things. 1) we need alcohol 2) we need alcohol 3) we need tortilla chips. Let's make a plan. Bro shakes and salsa.
Hey, please tell me that you and dad are having actual steaks tonight and I did not just get sexted by my dad
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
You've never sent a girl a dick pic?
Call me old fashioned
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
I was a plus one at an intervention for a person I didn't know.
I'm armed with nothing but $4 lip gloss gum and my phone. Ready to take on the fucking world.
walk of shame across osu's campus on game day. i can see all the spots i threw up last night. its like my personal yellow brick road.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Randomize
