That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
I knew you were gonna be a good wingman when the words "dibs on the chunky one" came out of your mouth.
i wish i could just hire someone to go down on me every night until i fall asleep
I just went to a chocolate syrup wrestling party I think you need to get on my level
my cup is half full, half full of rum.
Was just explained ingredients in a four loko. Puzzles of the universe starting to piece together.
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
Just watered mom's plants with leftover mixed drinks full of Bacardi Silver. I'm such a good daughter.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE ASSHOLE WHO BREAKS OUT THE SHOTS
Anyway, it's clearly a shapeshifting vagina/AT-AT, which I never said I was SEXUALLY attracted to. Just that I liked it.
I think vodka/water/skittles totally beats your crystal light mimosas
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
I currently don't understand fingers.
And I’m prepared, because I'm in it to win it (and by win I mean get railed hard)
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Randomize
