Text me right after you finish, I want to know how the ghetto fleshlight worked out
How about I just call you while I'm doing it so you can hear my reaction?
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
This was worse than the time that I shot a bald eagle.
Going to get yelled at but I labeled the reel "four dried up sluts decide going to the middle east to shop during a war is the best idea ever"
Its like after 6 beers, the clap doesn't scare me anymore.
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
apparently i walked around all last night forcing people to beer bong whatever drink was in their hand. so far this morning ive had three people refer to me as beer bong man
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
it's a drink the shower water kind of morning ...
I just got home and someone ate all my chicken nuggets. Bitches be asking for a death sentence?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
Randomize
