so i told my doctor my symptons and she just shook her head at me
It tastes like I coughed up blood....hello liver damage, I've been expecting you.
Just because you're using the Hipstamatic app for your nude photo taking, it doesn't make your drunken blowjob pics any classier.
I made an oral joke and he laughed... That's when I realized I wasn't Daddy's Little Girl anymore.
vodka bottle broke. scooping it out of the plastic tub with a shot glass into a sprite bottle using a ziplock bag as a funnel and straining the glass out with paper towels. good thursday night?
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
If taco bell and midol can't fix her, she's in gods hands now.
Turns out lunch break sex with someone you cant stand being around for any amount of time just makes you wish you had gone to get tacos like you originally planed.
I wish him all the best and hope one day he can afford the surgery to remove his head from his ass
i'm almost positive she was a dude but like it doesn't even matter
re read what you just said
come home. I need you. I'm too hungover to deal with this hangover alone
so she gave me back a bag of clothing, had some boxers in it...they werent mine.... well that sums up 5 years of my life
I'm starting to think my emotional health is declining because I was watching transformers today and legit almost started crying
That's crazy. Wow that lady must be fucked up
Yeah I hope she's okay.
I'm still going to fuck her husband but I do hope she's okay.
It’s a dick. Seen one, seen em all. Unless it spews a fountain of tequila, I don’t need to see yours.
Randomize
