I think I tried picking up these girls last night by asking them what their favorite color was...I obviously woke up alone
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
When i look at that picture of him, i'm a little proud to be like yeah, his dick was in my mouth saturday no big deal.
Best idea ever: Giving hobos a beer and having a chugging contest to win another beer. Most fun I have had downtown in a while.
What did I eat last night that was bloody?
like the penis drawn on my face is so detailed and well done, i'm not even upset about it.
Because it is about to snow, I sent him for Diet Coke and cigarettes. It's the gay version of milk and bread.
you should break up with her....give her the gift of reality
I mean Grimace is basically just a big piece of purple shit and he is loved way more than the hamburglar just to put it into perspective
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
I think I've had more sex in your bed than you have and I've only been here three days
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Still riding the magical train of drugs so, yeah, Id say I feel great
Randomize
