my penis was classy and tasteful, i don't know what her problem was.
When I saw him standing at full height, I realized exactly how much his body structure reminds me of his penis.
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
I woke up in the penthouse and did lines off the to of the fireplace. This is not real.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
He woke up licked his hand and put it on my vag and went back to sleep. This is twice this week and its only wednesday
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
Met my future wife peeing in the men's room. I stood in for the missing door on the stall. We really hit it off talking about how her butt didn't even touch the seat from all the years of squat lifting in high school.
He came so hard that he yelled what sounded like a spell from Harry Potter.
There is a fake eye lash glued to one of my balls.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
Fuck my life... Im so horny Im gonna take it out on this sandwich
From now on he's gonna have to shave first. It feels like I got eaten out by a chainsaw!
Yeah, I'm pretty glad I chose you to have drunken, sloppy birthday sex with.
That's the nicest thing anyone has ever said to me
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