We got blackout for the alumni dinner, and then walked THROUGH the keynote speaker, managing to still say "excuse me".
Saved By The Bell: The College Years had it waaaay wrong on that one.
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Just disregard the tooth in the plastic bag in the fridge.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Because everyone is allowed one half drunken 7:30 am walk back to campus in a cowgirl costume, right?
Life Goals: never under any circumstances, pee in an elevator again. No matter how drunk
I sent her a picture of Richard Nixon and said "these are the only dick pics I send".
I spy something regrettable...
Oh my god. Stop!! It was one time and I still can't believe it.
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
You then played what you called "a smooth jazz rendition of talk dirty to me" all thrusting your crotch at the bartender. Mom looked horrified, but my dad couldn't stop laughing
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
He is in my tree wearing full on scuba gear ... Get here asap.
Happiness is laying in bed, topless, pouring 4 packs of hot sauce on your taco bell.
Woke up way too warm in the middle of a spooning sandwich. Was working up a rant about still not wanting a threesome. Then I realized the littlest spoon was the dog. Might need to break up anyway.
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