Uhhh...do I owe you any money? Or an apology? Or anything?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
He's gotta be able to drive a truck, make me mac n cheese and give me the best orgasms. That's my perfect man
nothin like your phone freezing up and sending out old booty calls at 11am on a sunday. fml.
Dude. You gotta go home. I think I left the snake hanging on the chandelier.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
Imma need a double jack on the rocks and a BJowsky from the hot bartender.
Yes I said BJOWSKY. Pronounced "buh jow skii".
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
Can I join you for some emotional "Post: The Ohio State University's first lose in football after a 24 game winning streak" sex?
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Knew i was going to puke. So i grabed a bowl out of the kitcken in the dark before bed...Ended up puking into a spaghetti strainer...
OMG LOOK AT THAT PIECE OF MAN
I haven’t trained for this.
Never in my life did I expect to see Eric's mom in a cheerleader outfit along with other women
She yelled “outlaw country” right before we heard the police siren
Randomize
