i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
Oh and apparently TSA has to open your present from my family or the terrorists win
I was just expressing concern for your pickle consumption.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
I was just laying in bed wondering if there's more important things in life than cheese stuffed pretzels.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
And now I have fucked a local celebrity so double free drinks at bars.
Look, all I can tell ya is I want to drink wine out of a bottle while you eat me. It would be the most fantastic end to finals week. Maybe ever.
Oh, and apparently I was butt ass naked and walked into the room where anna was skyping her dude in afghanistan and said "This is happening."
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
i mostly like you because you have a nice nose and that's an important trait to pass on to my future children
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I deserve this hangover.
That awkward moment when you realize you've been secretly blackout dating someone for three months. Drunk me is in a committed relationship.
Randomize
