does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Maybe she gives good head
A girl who still calls a dick a "wiener"cannot possibly give good head
I'm at the point in my career when i know a sites a trap and isn't real porn
im sitting in my room wearing my power rangers shirt watching a movie about a magical dragon. Ive totally forgotten what having a sex life is like.
Just got an email from TMobile. Said they were going to pursue "more qualified" candidates. So this is what rock bottom feels like.
she screamed"i told you already! counter clockwise spiral and the clockwise spiral!!" right in the middle of sex
wow, i never thought dating a choreographer would be so harsh
No. No, there is no forgiveness for this. The only way I'm forgiving you for this is if you somehow convince your sister to have sex with me. In her car.
Dude you went around coming up behind people and whispering in their ears. I dont know what you said but they looked terrified when you left.
THEY NOW HAVE MIXED DRINK EMOJIS! LIFE IS GOOD! PRINCESSES DON'T DRINK BEER
Heard you had a bad day. I have vodka, chocolate and my dick here ready to put a smile back on your face.
I'm texting an actual stripper. A male stripper. I dont wanna talk about it yet
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
I SWEAR TO ALL THAT IS HOLY I HAVE NEVER WIPED MY GENITALIA ON ANY TYPE OF EMERGENCY RESPONSE VEHICLE!!
I turn into such a nice and loving person when I take Vicodin
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
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