Well that's not true. She had two social skills. She kept them in her bra
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
So, apparently I made everyone omelets last night. Even when I'm drunk, I'm still a trophy wife.
Now he's talking about how he's writing in a journal because he doesn't remember "his thought patterns when he was in elementary and that's distressing". I'm walking home. Fuck this.
The last thing I remember was doing a line in the shape of Texas
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
You know what, don't say anything. You all made fun on me for saying I would fuck him junior year when he taught us algebra and six years later, HERE I AM.
I left your tip in your mailbox. Last night was amazing.
I need rollerblades now
Rollerblades pick up bitches
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
We trekked into the state forest, laid the comforter down and he proceeded to tell me that we could stay here and stargaze, turned me around and fucked me like the lion king.
I might as well just sew it shut at this point.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
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