Wanna demo a makeout? Check box yes or no. Or maybe. Okay bye.
Just heard "Kiss Me Though the Phone" for the first time. Amazed how it took Soulja Boy two songs to become a shitter version of Ja Rule.
If i off myself, it'll be in a lobster costume in the hot tub with butter...
he refused to get me toilet paper before we started drinking so I keep wiping with his towel.
Theres a dude at this concert at the urinal double fisting beers, taking drinks from both while simultaneously pissing euerywhere. He is my hero
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Hey bro, did you ever hear from the background investigator that i was supposed to bang?
I gave up my innocence when I let him cum in my spelling bee trophy
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
I swallowed for you. Answer the phone.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
But I mean, have you ever just LOOKED at how majestic penises are? They are like ivory columns of pure wonder!
i've now hooked up with two guys who have tattoos of their sister's names...so that's a reality i have to live with...
I don't wanna see it, I don't wanna touch it, I just want it in me.
Randomize
