Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
That bitch is like a bad destiny's child song.
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
We've had the 'life would be so much better if we were both lesbians' conversation too much for that to be okay.
She started acting like she was actually a deaf person...so I went along with it and acted like her interpreter. I don't think anyone bought it.
Do something fun then. Blow up the house or whatever.
How have you survived this long?
Dumb luck and a deal with the devil.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
The best part of my day was getting high in the parking lot of the movie theater and taking pics in the photo booth with the caption "CONGRATULATIONS!" we geeked out because it congratulated us for getting high
But the drunk streaking fizzled when one of jake's friends took a piss while running with a massive erection.
I think having a vagina should be considered a skill, give me a break.
I'm not sure what your ex was trying to say to me I was too busy chanting your name in his face
He spelled Steven with "ph", needless to say my nose was almost bleeding from the amount of axe he was wearing.
Yo making cake in the shape of a penis is no easy feat
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Randomize
