Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
i'm only drinking out of pineapples from now on.
Part in the USA is on your top 25 most played on iTunes. you have NO RIGHT to judge me.
My roommate is on the phone with one of her friends trying to figure out how she threw up IN her pants. I'm not sure whether to burst out laughing or direct her towards Plan B.
there is nothing more depressing than your birth control alarm going off while you're masturbating, and realizing you've been taking pointless precautions for over a month now.
I've seen people win free drinks for a lot less dude, no need to drop trou on a piano.
.As long as you're some how patriotic with your sexual escapades, I can support it.
I'm so poor. I just wiped my ass with cocktail napkins... That I stole from the neighbors... When I was over there stealing Cheetos.
Dad got stoned the other day and bought us potty training seats for when we have children
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Well. At least he's a gentleman. A gentleman satanist.
I am drunk at 8am listening to Cyndi Lauper and dressed up in a penguin suit
So what if you don't want to be with your family. Go drink alone and watch Netflix like a normal person, don't be productive!
Sometimes self-care is taking a shot of vodka and moving on.
well...I was at work...until someone dropped dead during their performance of "I believe I can fly". It was karaoke night.
Randomize
