Are you drinking alone?
no, i'm watching house
That doesn't count.
wtf, then i'm always alone
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
Pot didnt help. Now Im even sadder but now im afraid of the clouds and the crickets.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
shes still here... layin in my bed watching a beyonce concert on tv drinking leftover franzia straight outta the bag and crying
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
looking at my texts from you makes me want to throw up in my pants
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude, please tell me you know why there's a naked chick asleep outside my room.
You held an empty wine bottle to your head and declared yourself the "wine unicorn." For the rest of the night you galloped everywhere and whenever anyone refused to be a wine unicorn with you, you tried to spear them with the bottle.
Dude, he came to our house with a beer can in his hand dressed up in a chicken suit screaming, "free eggs!" then threw up and passed out in the front yard.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
Randomize
