Turns out "bordello" doesn't mean what I thought it did.
my orientation roommate looks just like New York of Flavor Flav fame
Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
just looked at his mug shot... not really my type
he designed a suit out of pillows to protect himself when he fell.
engineering majors are such efficient drunks.
I fucked my cousin and caught chlamydia this year. I can't really harbour any illusions about myself anymore.
SORRY BITCH CAN'T, TAKING SHOTS TO WHITNEY HOUSTON.
Your first mistake was not throwing your beer at the RA and running
Is biking from my house to 6th street for liquor pitchers a good idea or a bad idea
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
who is the naked dude on the coffee table
thats jeff, jeff is nice so don't be rude
I got a charlie horse in my ass while masturbating. We are never been going to that boot camp again.
Banging to Billy Joel pandora is like russian roulette. But I made him cum to Let It Be so I we both walked away victors
Nothing says depression like laying in your bed stoned, naked, and eating a cupcake
Just looked at my bank statement. 9 out of 10 transactions on the first page were from 9 different bars. The 10th was for birth control pills at the pharmacy. I need to rethink my lifestyle.
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