Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
I just was on a 20min team conference call where I didn't speak, I used a Gus Johnson soundboard online to answer questions asked to me...the highlight of 2010
i asked if you wanted help changing your sheets after you threw up in bed. you politely declined. i take no responsibility after that.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
The good thing about having holes in your nose from all the drugs you do is that you can't smell nasty things. Like puke.
She straight up told me, "I don't care if he films as long as he's quiet." You sure you can't find the camera?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
you walked in on him eating me out and screamed SHE'LL BREAK YOUR HEART BRO before body slamming on the ground and passing out on the floor
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
Ones vagina should not have the same slogan as a can of Pringles.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
If I could go one week without being called a maneater or a spanish trolip that would be great.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
Randomize
