I just got stood up by an 18 yr old. fmylife.
So his roomate was eating breakfast when I was sneaking out. He's the guy I took home from jessicas wedding. I ended up eating coco puffs with him
Just another sign I need to get out of this town
so i woke up thsi morning with a phadora on my head, no shirt and a huge hangover? want to help me figure this out?
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
why do guys feel they can ask questions when im blowing them? you'd think they'd know my answer will always be "mmhmhmhmmm"
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Don't worry we did the "promise to get an abortion" handshake
Two portable blenders. We are going to be popular and dangerous.
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
I found him stumbling up to our building with a solo cup under his arm. . . He told me it was his favourite thing ever. He also told me hes never been drunk before.
It's a never ending cycle of men I've fucked knowing other men I've fucked. I need a new town.
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
Must've forgot to hang up with her when I was telling Josh I plan to pop champagne if I nail her tonight. She showed up with a bottle and said "only if we can toast it with Josh"
First aid class means get dry humped by moderately attractive college students during heimlich maneuver training.
Randomize
