i jus seen this fat chick walk buy look like she had don king coming out her arm pits..
apparently when i got back to tyler's i layed face down on the bed and yelled "don't hurt my asshole!"
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
that's what penises do
they tell lies.
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
We shouldn't eat pizza in the pool
We r drinking tequila out a glass bottle and smoking weed underwater, pizzas the least of our concern
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
I'm sorry for drunkenly throwing a spoon at you and then laughing at your pain.
Guy pissing in the corner in downtown Boston as his girlfriend is covering him up, yelling "relationship goals"
I am more than mildly offended he didn't screenshot the snapchat of my boobs.
Tempted to tell the Titos promoters at this bar that they are doing the lords work.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
You peed on a flamingo?!?
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