I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
You threw up. And every time you flushed you would wave and go "Bye Bye!" and then when the new water came you would greet it with "Helloooo!"
It was so romantic--he turned me around to face the sunset during doggy-style over the couch back.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Ya. I was the definition of a shit show. I woke up outside my door when my alarm went off
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I feel like I can hear facebook. What did we smoke?
Dude she let me install handle bars on her headboard. I should have nailed my boss years ago.
I think I should just accept my destiny that I'm going to be someone's second wife
My tits sealed my fate
Look on the bright side: Now that I'm sleeping with both the exs it's good bye to drunk sexting the 'wrong one'.
Oh my god there are animals here. There are actusal animals trying to get him. A giraffe is trying to get in. A giraffee is trying to get in. Is ridiculouss.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
My mom and sister were over. When my drunk roommate came home, he yelled "GOT BITCHES IN MY CONDO"
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
