Do you have swine flu?
I know my taste in men is not always top notch; however, I don't sleep with swine.
Pigs, yes. Swine, no.
waiting in line for my ID. the kid in front of me reaks of hopes and dreams and hornyness-- freshmen by calvin klein
I was just about to send a concerned text until I opened my door and saw a shopping cart. I'm glad you made it home in one piece and with toys.
But you have work tomorrow. And a whore to pick up. And a dinner to eat. And a vagina to slaughter. Your day is full!
I appreciate the concept of vaginal slaughtering.
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
So he drunk messaged me last night telling me he wants a baby. Think I should call his bluff?
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
That's good. Don't want to see you bellydancing in prison for homemade wine.
So apparently there is enough alcohol to get me to agree to going to a strip club, but when I have enough they don't let me in.
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
your penis is a great and majestic leader among the penises.
We have moved from phase 1: honeymoon, to phase 2: trapped in relationship until the cold embrace of death
I HAVE 5 FELTING NEEDLES AND THEYRE GOING DIRECTLY INTO YOUR EYES IF YOU POST THAT SHIT
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
thank god my bra was in my purse... were all good
Randomize