I wish they made sweatshirts for legs
you mean pants?
you made your cat watch a peta video with you, so you could show it how just how good its life is
So I'm on the can right now reading a court transcript for an appeal. Some dude is paying $155 an hour for me to take a shit.
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
i made potato chips in weed oil. what did you do today?
Without me, you would never be able to say you partied with a midget!
he built a boat made of joints. holyyy shit
you made sure you came back for your bottle of vodka but didn't remember to take your shoes
we've got reservations. ask for the eat a bag of dicks table
I love it. Like, more than my penis at the moment.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Family trip though. I generally don't wheel too much ass with the fam in tow. Despite the fact my parents would be pleased if I did.
Just in case you forgot, last night you came home drunk and pissed all over my laptop. You owe me a laptop.
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
Blueberry probiotics greatly increase to the masturbation experience. Try it dude. It’s all the rage
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