I had a good time, probably would have a bigger headache today if you were in town.
Blackberries need to come with a feature that disables texting to certain numbers after 2am based on content. liek disabling texting to 'dad' containng the words 'lets try to find more blow.'
I don't think he's ever woke up with a paraplegic stripper sitting on his face before.
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
You know its bad when convincing your mother you were masturbating is the better alternative
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
She passed out on top of the bar. Still did body shots off her.
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
Remind me to tell you how I've been deaf since Sunday at 1245
lets do drugs on my lunch break tomorrow
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
The hair on my legs is officially flapping in the breeze when I walk. I must say, being single does have perks and this is one of them.
Drunk me is basically the Oprah of nudes. Everyone gets one.
Randomize
