i just saw a midget buying condoms and graham crackers. i wonder which was the impluse buy.
Is it awkward that I've slept with every guy in this room?
Only if they know about it too.
Was it a mistake telling him I couldn't get the abortion until I was 2 months along on the first date?
I am not a stalker...i just bring a whole new meaning to the word love
Pray the makeout fairy visits me this weekend.
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Its a little weird going to a wedding where I've screwed the bride and my wife has screwed the groom. Great wedding though.
i feel like there is just so much pressure to sex him up, its like the weight of the world is on my vagina.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
I don't know what I was talking about but I just threw up in ikea. You can't get out of this place it's a fucking labyrinth.
I just talked to him. no worries he had the same fears you did this morning and smelled the dryer to make sure. you officially did not pee in there haha
Fuck you. Fuck this party. I just wanted to be pretty with a cute little tiara and boys sucking my tits, now i have a hangman game drawn on my face and jello shots in my hair.
I wanted to give you a great birthday party. You know I did.
I really just gave up on masterbating because I'm too tired. I really am getting old.
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
