I dont abuse you, i just hit you while we have sex
This is your Morning Wood Report: I have it.
How come it tastes like onions whenever I go down on her?
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
I feel like my whole life has been one big pre-game for Mexico.
You do realize that we bought beer at 9:30 in the morning to avoid sobering up. Stupidity was bound to follow.
So was I the only one that was competing in the whale hunt?
I LOVE DRINKING BOOZE OUT OF A FUCKING LAMP
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
Almost threw up on my grandmother as she walked in the house. Had to run to the bathroom and vomit my brains out. Prolly getting taken out of the Will now.
You fed me pizza off a sword last night.
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
we could do so many fantastic illegal things together. sexually and otherwise.
the hole that the tears left- fill it with pizza
Randomize
