No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
question: does your pee smell like mojitos at all?
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
I'm not sure if what i'm hearing downstairs is sex or not, but if it is, it sounds like there's a dog involved...i'm mildly concerned.
he had two deer mounted on his dorm room wall with panties and bras hanging from the antlers... i cant believe i contributed to bambi's headgear...
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
i chased bacardi with meat sauce last night
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
Moral of the story is go have sex with a foreigner and report back to me.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
My boss doesn't know what jello shots are. I've lost faith in this company.
I just want a guy who will spank me, fuck me, then take me to my office xmas party. I'd that too much to ask?
like, there should be nothing wrong with me wanting to watch you put on a bikini and roll around in a kiddie pool of jello
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
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