On a scale from 0 to 24...wait, 3 to 24, where 6 is the lowest and 12 is the highest, how freaking high re you right now?
he said he doesnt sext because the government can tap that kind of shit too. no boobie pics for him.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
im youtubing treadmill accidents. this is what i do at 2:10am
You would not believe how incredibly hard it is to climb on top of a three story apartment buildings roof from the air conditioning unit
He's hungover and at the neighbour's garage sale negotiating a price for a tuba.
He stopped mid-sex to read the subtitles on a Korean movie we had playing in the background.
I like her. She smells like old lady but tastes like whiskey
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
I JUST SEARCHED GINGER COCK ON TUMBLR AND THEY'RE ALL REALLY WELL HUNG? I'M CRYING. IS THIS HOW GINGERS KEEP REPRODUCING?
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU?
Your ability to whip out your dick and take a pic anytime I text you is startling.
The only times we have to apologize in this friendship is when you intentionally punch me and that's only happened once so it's okay
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
Randomize
