we were pretty classy up until the second keg
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
The only reason anyone found out he threw up is because everyone heard it sizzle the bonfire out.
No mixer. Vodka in yogurt?
I brought his matress to the living room we're laying on it listening to rick james drinking vodka
Stayed out til 7 am.... Did u know there's a guy who goes up and down the quad at that hour playing bagpipes?
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
Jesus christ it's been two texts and we are already talking about dildos
Remind me to tell you a really funny story about me and arson.
QUIT RUINING DICK PICTURE DAY
Saying I've had more balls in my mouth than you is the last clear, coherent thing I remember.
What are you bringing to class tomorrow?
sorrow
At one point did I say I have a doctorate in fuck u?
totally just bought a bottle of gin with nothing but change
don't ever let anyone tell you that youre not 100% class
Randomize
