some guy just got out of his chair quietly. Laid down on the floor and is now asleep in between rows in my lecture hall. He must have had a rough night.
new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
he emptied an entire bag of goldfish onto the bed and rolled around yelling the theme to jaws trying to eat them
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I'm just here to guide your spirit, avoiding herpes is on you though
Wow, im gonna be a great doctor..."hi let me save your life but first check out this pic of me deep throating a handle of grey goose"
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
as he was fingering me, all I was thinking about was how lucky his girlfriend is...
Why didn't you tell me I was calling her by her sisters name all night?
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
Just passed the animal clinic parking lot I had to pull over to puke in during welcome week. I can almost hear the dogs barking at my shame again.
She came out of the bathroom listening to her iPod and crying. Then she started scream 'she will be loved'. She seems to be handling the break up well lol
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
It started with drunk jenga and ended with me simultaneously peeing and puking on his feet in the tub while he held me up. I met Tequila. I don't like her.
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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