Umm I'm too high to move.
I skipped work to stalk him.
I woke up and she had washed, dried, folded my clothes, cooked me breakfast, and had started cleaning my room
haha, you sure you didnt fuck your mom?
You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
Can I sleep on your couch? My wife just found my eHarmony account.
Its alot easier to hide alcohol when your wearing a toga..
everythings easier when your wearing a toga.
I mean I knew we were putting on quite a show but I didnt realize HOW good until I woke up and 4 people were passed out with their ears to the bedroom door.
The drunk teletubby stumbling out of the place tipped me off..
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Yeahhh, apparently my brothers think its ok not to check on me if a creeper is talking to me bc i "like those weirdo types"
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
Note to self: I can rip apart her vagina and she'll still cuddle with me, but if I steal her Chapstick she'll murder me !?
Randomize
