I had a dream last night, there was a gumball machine that was filled with Oxycontin. I would try to get some but got vitamins instead. I was so frustrated!! woke up angry.
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
i wish i had the videos of us pissing on him last night.
THAT WAS PROBABLY MY ONE CHANCE TO SLEEP WITH A MAN NAMED BORIS AND YOU RUINED IT.
just lying in bed drinking beer with a straw waiting for motivation. why?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
It's not my fault you have a job and can't get drunk on Tuesday's. Don't take your frustrations out on me!
OMG IM A TIGER AND I LOVE ROARING
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
When you get this divorce finalized we're going to mid evil times AND pirate dining adventure. We're gonna find you a couple of real men and make them joust/swashbuckle for your affection. My treat.
He called me khaleesi while I rode his dick. He wins
I'm eating shredded cheese and chugging coke, until I can function again. I'm tingling everywhere
I wanna stuff your vagina full of Reese's peanut butter hearts and eat you clean
Randomize
