So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
Jesus was obviously not given an itemized list of your sins before he died for them
what ever happened to devon sawa?
fuck...who knows?
i'm really worried about him.
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
Just saw an Asian guy riding his razor scooter to class. Dreams do come true
You broke a cabinet. You were climbing up it and it collapsed on you. Lines were crossed.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
My mom ate salad out of the vodka bowl
I feel like his penis would have a weird haircut because he does.
Today was my cousin's Kindergarten graduation. I happen to also think of it as a MILF convention.
if anyone knows where my shirt is please let me know and if you know why I don't have my own shirt please also let me know. also do any of you know why I'm missing a bra wire?
Yeah but if you conceived a child on a park slide that would be pretty awesome
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Randomize
