Being this Hungover on Easter has brought my closer to Jesus... I swear he had to feel shitty like this after coming back from the dead
Here's the thing. I'm really high and have lots of questions about lightning.
My therapist told me it was ok for me to "take risks" now. Cue the hookers and blow.
He just came in my nostril. Never look down when a guy is pulling out during missionary.
I inspected his penis with a mini flashlight to check for visible stds...he was clean
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
Just a heads up... Don't get high and attempt to do your own taxes
Day drinking! Today! (tomorrow too!) Our place! Whenever you get off work! Ready go!
I'm highly inebriated watching star wars, this text was sent via the force
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
You told everyone to shut up then told the officer that you are 21 when you drink.
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
Randomize
