I don't think your that much of a whore. your like a whore-let. a mini whore.
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
I looked up to you, until I saw her walk out of your room.
So I'm about to go to his house and have "I'm really sorry for cheating on you last night" sex
A relator touring our house this week saw the picture in our bathroom of steven passed out, yellow faced, with BALLS on his forehead, and had to ask "if that kid was alive or dead".
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
We had a pillow fight. It looks like an angel exploded here. A DRUNK ALCOHOLIC ANGEL
He's so hot and there's so much R Kelly and vodka I think I might die.
You're the reason why I want to be a better drunk
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
I'll bring your "congrats on finally banging" cookies tomorrow, I'm exhausted.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
I just noticed, at some point last night I got on iTunes and purchased over 100 classical piano songs.
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
On the good side I got hit on by a cute college guy. But the bad side was having sex in a frat house for first time in 9 years
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