then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
Sign #1 this conference will suck: Ice breaker question, how many proud virgins do we have in the room, overwhelming response. Looks like I'm not getting laid this weekend.
it was 6 in the morning, and you cried until i put mulan in. then you proceeded to say every word, not to mention sing along... stop drinking.
I know I hit you with my car but people express love in different ways. Everyone is different.
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
Things are burning & the world smells of peanut butter. It's beautiful.
Just thought you should know the man you CHOSE to father your children has once again fallen asleep on the toilet. thanks mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
The name of tonight's festivities is hereby decreed to be the "Honey Boo Boo Hootenanny".
You partied and then got cock slapped, Don't tell me you didn't have fun
this makes me concerned. not enough to actually do anything about it, but yeah.
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
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