And hes hitting me with his balls, really hard.
My 40 year old neighbors are throwing a party for their eight year old niece's birthday. It's 1am and they're still partying hard. Harder than me. It's Saturday. Just say it, I'm a disgrace to the generation.
She has her iPod in her ears slippers and sweats on and is walking around the house up and down the stairs getting "exercise" she just stopped for a water break
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
i have my graded calc test (94%) sitting on my empty case of beer next to my desk. this is me winning at college.
I just smoked my last bit of kief with a grill lighter. This is what crackheads must feel like.
He's basically like a fancy dildo that buys me dinner.
he was definitely TRYING to give me herpes.
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
So who won the naked front yard Olympics last night?
Well my tits are spray painted gold & i have what i think r the Olympic rings shaved in my vag !!!!!!!SO its safe to say i won something ....
Yes ma'am. At least you're a warning story I can tell to my kids in the future
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Its amazing how creative youll get when your house has been out of toilet paper for a week and a half
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
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