apparently i broke a 100 dollar bill to tip the bartender on a free drink
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
End of the semester and I banged 14 freshman. I'm like my own welcome to college orientation guide.
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
I have so much boob sweat I could bathe a baby
begin the sex magic rocket ship countdown
theres chocolate ground into my couch, nerds candy all over the floor and cocaine on every surface. great memorial day weekend and yours?
Would it be appropriate to cancel a hookup to watch the golden globes?
absolutely. tina fey and amy poehler trump everything.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I have an interview tomorrow and listed you as a reference. If they call you, please don't tell them about the time I smuggled a Chalupa out of Taco Bell in my underwear.
His birthday is on Valentines Day, of course he's getting a blowjob
We need to get me chipped asap
You started singing Baby Shark, screamed you have no idea how it goes, then somehow turned the beat into Bohemian Rhapsody
Randomize
