i would punch a child for taco bell
god, a vagina is an amazing trump card
if i died would you start the facebook group?
is it bad that i regret hanging out with a girl tonight because that means i have less time to sit on youtube watching xmen cartoons?
fuck your aforementioned shoe
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
But then he started to talk about his wedding he wants and I quote " and yes parts will be choreographed"
I don't know what happened to get you in this mentality. This time last year your were ass up on a hotel bathroom counter getting licked by a stranger.
There is only one good excuse for how sore I am right now. And that is incredibly acrobatic sex. Unfortunately for me that is not my excuse.
While I was fucking him, he grabbed a taco off his shelf and started eating it. I had taco dripped on me. I have no idea where the taco came from.
It has been so long since I got any action that I have decided to change my vagina's name from "the chamber of judgement" to "the cave of forgotten dreams".
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Just found dollar bills in my sheets. What part of the weekend am I forgetting?
I've turned into a small time drug dealer, now who's the real MVP.
you started putting peanut butter on your pubes.
Randomize
