One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
I can't believe you let me try to pierce your nipple with a dart last night
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
Two words. Shotgunning Cognac.
This has already gotten way out of hand
Remember that time you puked in a beer pong cup while someone else was playing?
that happened
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Cocaine is ok on a cleanse, right?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
How many times do I have to tell you I'm not bisexual.
.....unless there is alcohol involved
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
so.. he paid for my flight to vegas, took me to shows, bought my drinks and STILL rescued my drunk ass after i ditched him. i HAD to cuddle with him this morning.. fair exchange, right?!
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
Question: the touchscreen on my phone randomly quit working, do you think this could be a latent reaction from me peeing on my phone last weekend?
Dennis picked up a 50 year old woman. Then he and Dan got in a fight and jumped out of the limo. No one knows what happened to them.
Randomize
