I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
dude beer before liquor = i want to shoot myself in the face
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
is it bad that i have made the decision to never travel to vienna simply because of that transvestite that won the bachelor?
dont start drinking without me
I just smoked pot in front of my old Elementary School. It's like my Childhood and Adulthood are coming together in this awesome thing.
Haha pretty bummed I didn't stay night yesterday after the bj fest you described
The lady next to me at the airport just baggage checked a six pack. She is now my hero.
I'm tired of stuffing my fat into a slutty costume. Next year let's go as homeless girls. Cute ones. In leggings with camel toe.
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
he may or may not have motorboated me on the steps of the library of congress
I bought more beer than I could carry and managed to fit it all in the fridge. It's an alcoholicmas miracle.
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
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