you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
I am not speculating about which disney princesses do and do not have gag reflexes
You are an asshole
haha sleeping beauty awakes.
Where did you find this costume?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
HE IS COURTING ME WITH CHINESE FOOD AND IT IS WORKING.
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
Okay: Whipped cream, vodka, and a trampoline. This will either be really great, or really tragic.
She had forties taped to her hands and was trying to give him a hand job while he was passed out, with everyone in the living room.
when you come home i just want to let you know we are cats now. and we are out of eggs.
You made out with him a lot. Almost as much as you told everyone Paul was the zamboni guy.
I changed his name in my phone to "Irrelevant" last night. Not changing it back.
I'd like to have a moment of silence for all the dicks she's broken off
Got her pregnant in a minivan. Circle of life.
dude, there is no doorman in your lobby and the front door is locked
oh yeah, sorry he's up here at the party. coming now
Do you know who these girls are? They're baking a cake, making chicken enchiladas, and bringing me beer everytime I finish one.
Randomize
