yo I sort of want to fuck rachel maddow. but I'm not a lesbian. actually I reaally want to so maybe I am a lesbian. at least on weekdays at 9.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
No more Irish car bombs ever.
Not only is it unacceptable to be bar hopping alone at 5 o'clock. It is definitely unacceptable to do so with a lobster
I don't see what kind of idea someone could get from an envelope covered in jesus stickers and a note from a person and their dog. I'd say crazy person alert before flirting.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Great. I broke up with him before he could like my selfie, now I'm down a like.
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
I blasted the Halloween Before Christmas soundtrack last night so my roommate wouldn't hear me having sex. Needless to say the sex got a little weird.
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
It was an interesting experience to have sex while there was a triathlon going on right outside my bedroom window because it sounded like everyone is cheering for you in bed.
How supportive!
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
My last memory of last night was being in a laundry room doing blow and admiring a washer and dryer... I think that's the earmark of old age
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