I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
I found out that all you need to write a 12 page paper is adderall and twizzlers
dude, there's a fucking musical in my head. it's fucking awesome being this high.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
you said something about joining a k-pop band before passing out topless on the trampoline.
I will be the DD but everyone has to call me Mistress
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
I remember the Prince Albert and the three penises in the threesome. But the rest no.
they call themselves the foursome.. thats def means they're up for one right?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
Sextember may be over, but Cocktober is just beginning!!!
Randomize
