I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
she told me that she was curious about how cum tasted. of course i left you.
i woke up to my roomate hitting me in the head with a can of PBR at 8:30 in the morning...i love spring break
the bank didn't screw up, i spent 150$ at mcdonalds last night
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
Unfortunately, the Bilbo Baggins adventure side of me that likes to go on adventures appears to be losing to the side of me that likes to smoke weed in the bathtub and watch Workaholics.
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Yeah, my new jeep also came with custom license plates that read 4SKIIN. Not "4 skin" but "4 skiing" thanks mom and dad
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I'm too old for chlamydia. That's for 20 year olds who go to clubs and do drugs I've never heard of.
He literally just peed in a trash can in our room. It didn't even have a bag in it
GUESS WHOSE BEST FRIEND IS OUT OF PRISON!
Literally.... Guy kissing himself in mirror in this hotel elevator
Randomize
