hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Dude, we somehow need to leave discretely with the toilet brush.
NEVER PUT A LIT CIGARETTE BEHIND YOUR EAR
I'm going out w/ her for her b-day in a bit. I just talked to one of her drunk friends on the phone who asked if I could "handle 7 lesbian." This could be interesting.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
I just picked up a hitchhiker so karma will be on our side this weekend. Hahahahahaha
No.
It was all going fine until I had to chug that strawberita bud light. That really ended badly.
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Can you repeat that, but with context?
Bill says he deeply regrets the incident with the soda bottle
It's a family event: you have to drink. No way around it. Its the law.
Decisions were made. The quality of them will be judged tomorrow
I SHOULD BE TERRIFIED OF HIS DRAGON DICK.
I flushed a potato down the toilet so now we have to live in a hotel.
Randomize
