Mmmm, vodka for breakfast
I need to stop hooking up with boys in my major. three boys in one class is just a litttle too awkward.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Holy mother of cocks. I was grind-with-my-boss drunk last night.
she had that "i just got used" look on her face when i kicked her out at 5am
He rubs his penis on back when he think I'm sleeping
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
And now for everyone's least favorite sport... Drunk babysitting.
I was less embarrassed asking him to torrent the teen mom's porn. I'm not gonna ask him to about season 4 of PLL.
im not letting a little injury get in the way of my alcoholic/drug problems. we ARE getting turnt tonight.
I just sold Adderall to a priest, im not quite sure how I feel about this situation
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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