If he looks like a Gremlin DO NOT get him wet.
she just put all the cheese in the refrig to sleep.. and yes we did finish you bottle.
i could have sworn she did an overextended split with her legs over her head but now i think it was just the drugs
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
I hurt so much. Not in the emotional way, but in the I went to dive bars sorta way.
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
If you quit, you're not going to stick to our game plan of dead by 40. I will not be in the titty bar nursing home without you damning
Damnit.
You're not drunk til you wake your roommates up screaming at your ceiling fan
So everything was good he was big spoon I was little spoon and then I got peed on
Everybody needs breakup sex. You just happened to get yours from a dude who hasn't reached the point of breakup yet. No biggie.
Did you clean his pubes up off the table yet?
Any who, I expect to be showered with roses apon my arrival
How about beer and nachos?
A fine substitute!
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