your parents love me but you hate me
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
dude, it should not be this hard to find a bottomless mimosa on a friday morning
my neighbors garage sale is really cutting into the time of day when i can smoke weed on my deck.
He sent a pic, I sent one back. Then nothing. It's like we sext-messaged goodbye and ended the relationship.
Nothing will ever prepare you for the moment when you are sitting on your friends bathroom floor with no pants on eating string cheese & pita at 2am.
Well anything after a French guy would have been a disappointment. But I'm fairly certain he was just trying to masturbate into me.
She passed out on the kitchen table with two mickeys forties duct taped to her hands. Clearly she is going to fit perfectly in your house this semester
Whiskey??
It will be at least another 6 weeks before I say yes again. I'm bruised. I stole sex cards and a really nice pocket knife. I acquired a vial of my own blood. Talk about a yard sale...
If by "Are you high?" u mean "Did you just pass out at Genghis Grill walking to your table and falceplant?" the answer is yes.
I want you more than I want a burrito.
I'm not as filling.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
Hungover at Subway, watching a business guy try to squeeze his way past my car to get into his. Bitch shouldn'ta parked over the line.
You truly are a temple of morality.
I am the night, I am justice, I am currently watching the fat biz guy pay a frat boy to back his car up for him so he can get in.
Just saw Little Red Riding Hood riding a guy on hood of a car
Good for her for committing to the costume
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