id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
just took batteries out of my vibrator to play wii guitar hero. think i am gonna regret that move later tonight.
you kept lying down on the floor at the bar just to prove you could get back up
Found a joint walking to class. I feel like the environment is rewarding me for being green.
how was last night?
i woke up with my hand stuck in a jam jar with my keys in the bottom and a dog licking peanut butter off my boobs. you tell me.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Got robbed by knifepoint. Then got sympathy Bj. I might have to walk down Austin ave drunk every weekend
On our way there. Drinking my beer out of a coffee pot. Cuz it's my bday
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
There's still helium in the tank I found in the garbage outside the bar!
WE JUST PASSED A FUCKING SPACE SHIP! NOT JOKING! A REAL FUCKING SPACE SHIP! THIS IS NOT THE DRUGS! SPACE! SHIP!
I was stuffing my face while buying a brownie and coffee and some kid I fucked came up behind me and said. Someone's hungry.
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