Do you feel that fire radiating from matt's crotch for you
Gross. gingers suck
I am not sure how to feel about the fact that I was turned on by someone with a penis. I can't believe Lady Gaga would do this to me. :(
T-minus about 54 seconds until I am too high to speak English.
I'm jealous
My throat feels like a candle.
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
That's ok. I found a crab leg in my bed and have no pants on.
Ah, I knew it wouldn't be long before my boobs were introduced into the conversation.
Did you ever get our sex tape out of the rental car before you returned it?
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
Shoot me. I need tickles, a drink, sushi and a handy
Order is debatable
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
He ate me out while watching Fifty Shades of Grey---needless to say I'm locking this down
It's barely past noon, how am I already talking about double penetration
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
