Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
some 7 year old just told me his favorite rapper was eminem and kim got what she deserved...god damn today's youth is in a dark period
all thats left of you is your magnum wrapper on my dresser
it feels like my vag is blowing bubbles
i just heard one Asian kid say to another, "i bet if i could get into Harvard i could get laid all the time, my brother lost his virginity the first night there."
i decided to cut a 3rd hole in to my snuggie so i could masturbate all the time.. all time low? or genius?
Just wandered into a surprise final. Only a surprise for me though. I wish I could say this is the first time this has happened.
Yeah dude I should be out of the ER in about an hr. They gave me vallium. Go tell the captain its time to set sail.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
I'm at the point in my life where I'm gonna sell my eggs for cash
Tomorrow is my favorite texting day of the year... It's where I send every guy I've had sex with this past year a text saying "happy not a Father's Day" and we laugh and I get so much dick it's wonderful.
"Are we not going to talk about how you got so drunk that you swallowed someone's pet gold fish, whole?"
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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