the star wars geek is hitting on me, and is talking about his lightsaber. need back up NOW
he just asked if i would like him to change his diet so his jizz tastes better. keeper? i think so.
I just heard a guy scream "it must be five o' clock!!" and another guy screamed "somewhere!!!" out from different balconies.
My boobs are too big for things to be going this downhill in my life.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
i was drinking at the bar last night with a guy with no bottom teeth, wearing zubas and a polka dotted hat. if that isn't the definition of wisconsin, i dont know what is
How bad is it if you swallow a really small piece of glass? Be optimistic if possible I'm anxious about it.
lets talk about you, dubstep, and a bunny suit.
Then, she put flavored warming oil on my dick and was amazed when something she bought FROM SPENCER'S almost burned my dick off.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
She's like a solid nine. Well maybe not a tomorrow morning nine, but she's a nine right now and trying to take me home.
she had a dildo shaped like a dolphin. she will forever be known as Flipper
I've got a bottle of water, a bag of salad greens, and a bottle of hot sauce. How stoned do you think I am?
Here's the "to do" list i just found on my phone: buy stripper pole, make sex playlist, buy febreeze
Randomize
