is it really high of me to have brought my own hot sauce to wendys?
So I guess I passed out face first on the ground while trying to grill last night
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
If I had a dollar for every time i woke up screaming for my pants i"d have enough money to buy all the beer I stole last night.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
After some trial and error I found soaking my balls in maple syurip helps ease the pain.
He called me on my way to the bathroom and told me he wanted to hear me pee my beers out... That. Drunk.
He hasn't left the hospital without a nurse's number all year. My nurses are always ugly or men. Wtf bro
You've discovered your super power: Your Vagina
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
meow
use your words like a big girl
i ran over your cat.
i woke up on the floor in front of the fireplace and my last google search was "fuck sponges"
I can’t tell if I have feelings for him or if my vagina does.
This past week everybody of fb either got rings or semen. All I got was Covid.
Randomize
