she said, "is it ok if I touch it?" that's when I knew I was in trouble... I knew she was a virgin but seriously..
I love how you are more concerned with what i call my penis than the fact i wanna bone some high school chicks
I apparently spent $173 at the bar last night. The proof is in the vomit on my pillow and the receipt I tried to clean it up with.
Using that mug my little cousin painted for me as an ashtray for my weed...at least next time he asks me if I'm using it I can say yes
This whole situation could've been avoided if you would've just let me open the beer
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Biggg time. I found 2 empty packages of extenze in my car this am.... not sure what that was all about
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
"I'm a professor to university students" I say as I realize I have a nipple piercing that I have no memory of getting
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
Anytime he goes down on me i automatically think of you cheering me on. Your a good friend.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
Despite evidence suggesting otherwise, it turns out max is 100%straight.
Randomize
