How's tricks little girl?
Trix are for kids, old man.
I haven't had sex in so long I'll probably find some stranger, feel guilty, go w/o sex for several months and do it all over again...always something to look forward to
Eric just called. Says he's trapped in a cul de sac because the road disappeared. Wants me to tell him what street has the bushes that whisper sweet nothings into you ear and the wobbling purple pokemon. Oh, and a "bigger and better" penis is growing out of his belly button. He took shrooms by the way.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Theres a picture of you standing next to a John Wayne cardboard cutout that says dont drink and drive. your buddy is shirtless holding a beer and youre holding your keys up with marker on your face.
You walked away saying that you had to pee and you never came back. We found you an hour later in his roommate's bed. Under the covers. Still in your wet bathing suit.
Not enough. Tell the person next to you to give you their drink. I give you permission. And then chug it. Be a hero tonight.
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Sounds good. Stay safe. I'm kind of drunk in a Food 4 Less right now and I'm having the time of my life.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
The packers need to win more often, Andrew keeps drunk calling me and confessing his undying love for me in between puking and taking more shots.
Omg, those nutella cakes are heavenly, like licking the nipples of a muscular black Jesus.
Also what’s the official rule on washing one guy’s jizz off my back before I go out with another guy? That I should?
Randomize
